Chorus:
Oh dear, what can the matter be,
seven old ladies stuck in the lavatory
they were there from Sunday to Saturday,
and nobody knew they were there.
The first to go in was old Mrs. Flynn,
she prided herself on being so thin,
but when she sat down, she fell right in,
and nobody knew she was there.
The next to go in was old Mrs. Humphrey,
when she sat down, she got cozy and comfy,
but when she stood up she couldn't get her bum free,
and nobody knew she was there.
The next to go in was old Mrs. Dickel,
who hurdled the door 'cause she hadn't a nickel,
she got her foot caught, oh what a pickle,
and nobody knew she was there.
The next to go in was old Mrs. Slodder,
she was the Duke of Effington's daughter,
she went to pass some superfluous water,
and nobody knew she was there.
The next to go in was old Mrs. Brewstter,
who couldn't see as good as she used to,
when she sat down, she swore somebody goosed her,
and nobody knew she was there.
The next to go in was old Mrs. Fender
who went in to fix a broken suspender,
it snapped and injured her feminine gender
and nobody knew she was there.
The next to go in was old Mrs. Draper
who couldn't find the toilet paper,
all she could find was a rusty paint scraper,
and nobody knew she was there.
The next to go in was old Mrs. Murry,
who had to go in a hell of a hurry,
when she got there, there was no need to worry,
and nobody knew she was there.
The last to go in was old Mrs. Mason
there wasn't a place, so she went in the basin,
"the one that I washed my face in,"
and nobody knew she was there.